


manifesto

by could-have-beens (uncorrectgrammar)



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, F/M, Ficlet, Introspection, POV Second Person, Pining, Post-Break Up, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-22
Updated: 2020-10-22
Packaged: 2021-03-09 04:07:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 697
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27147772
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/uncorrectgrammar/pseuds/could-have-beens
Summary: He doesn't need her.
Relationships: Harry Potter/Ginny Weasley
Comments: 11
Kudos: 28





	manifesto

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into 中文-普通话 國語 available: [宣言](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28426185) by [LucyAragorn](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LucyAragorn/pseuds/LucyAragorn)



You don't need her.

Tell yourself this, when you see her. Watch her smile, hear her laugh, take her hand. Wrap yourself up in her and know that this time may be the last. Fade a little with each breath you take, and allow yourself the knowledge that, in another life, you could have loved her without fear.

Break her heart. When you see the way she looks at you, with no surprise on her face, know that she understands. Be relieved that she does, because this is better — _safer_ — isn't it? This is for the best, and you owe it to her. Don't ask her to wait, don't expect her to. Bury the hope that she might and push down the words you should have said before, the words you have no right to say to her now.

Feel no regrets. Think of Sirius and remember how something in the world turned dark when he fell. Know that, with Dumbledore gone, the world will be greyer, that the skies will be washed out no matter the weather. Know that it will be worse if you lose her, that everything will be black from daybreak to day's end and all through each long and bloodied night.

When she kisses you, kiss her back. Lose yourself so completely that you forget, for a few blissful seconds, the terrible path ahead of you. Commit to memory her blazing look, the feel of her lips, the smell of her hair. Fold this moment out of time. Carry it with you, along with all those stolen hours, those sunlit days from another person's life.

Leave her behind.

Insist _She's better off without me_ , when you feel Ron and Hermione's pitying looks. Hear the desperation in your voice, as though their belief in her happiness is absolutely imperative to the turn of the earth. _She doesn't need me_.

Because she doesn't. Know that she doesn't. She has enough to worry about, with her parents and her brothers involved in a war you're supposed to win.

But remember too that she is strong. She will fight, somehow, and no one will be able to hold her back. She will win, always and against all odds — she _will_. If anyone can survive to see the end of the war and beyond, it's her. Know this, with absolute certainty, because there is no version of events, no possible future, where she doesn't live. You can't conceive of a world where she doesn't.

She doesn't need you. Life will go on just fine without you.

And yours will go on without her. It has to. You've done it before, haven't you? Remind yourself that, once, you lived without knowing the warmth of her touch, the feeling of her hair through your fingers, the exact shape and pressure of her mouth.

Remember, because you have Ron and Hermione. They look to you, tense and expectant, even when you have no answers, no directions, no plans to give them. Know that they trust you and hope that their faith is enough.

Ignore the pang of loneliness when you see them sitting too close. Pretend you don't see their soft smiles or their fleeting touches. Try not to think of her.

Fail. Think of her anyway.

At night, when the cold seeps inside your tent, bring out the Marauder's Map and trace her labelled dot, examine it by wandlight. Let your mind wander away from the forest and back to the days spent with her in the secluded corners of the school grounds. Dream of her, of those shining afternoons, and let the memories chase away the dark and fear and weariness.

Wake up, but feel no lightness, no relief, just the familiar hollow emptiness. Console yourself with the knowledge that she is safe and protected, back in Hogwarts and away from you. Hold this last moment of knowing like a beacon in your chest, because if you had to choose, between her life and the world —

Know that you are not as selfless as you need to be, as everyone thinks you are.

Lie.

You don't need her.

Tell yourself this, and know it will never be true.


End file.
